I've got hives

---

Inside the gym, things are far more terrifying than I could have ever expected.

Far, far more terrifying.

Thankfully, the trainers in here are about as weak as I thought they'd be. Half of them carry things like the cocoons I've seen in my travels, cocoons that can't manage a single offensive attack.

It does not take long for me to reach the gym's leader, but I almost wish I hadn't.

I honestly haven't a clue as to the gender of this person. I want so badly to know, but it's not like I can just ask him/her/it. Regardless, this leader known as "Bugsy" wants a fight, and I'm going to give him one. Er, give her one?

Oh, whatever.

The battle is... laughable. Bugsy here apparently didn't get the memo about how having two-thirds of your team being useless cocoons is actually a bad strategy.

Things are going fairly well, and then this shows up:

That's right, a human-sized bladed mantis. It gives off so much raw coolness that I can almost forgive Bugsy for otherwise being a patsy. But needless to say, it does not stand a chance against my finless pufferfish and her rock-hard spikes.

The Hive Badge is ours - but I am unsatisfied. Like Falkner before, Bugsy was disturbingly easy to defeat. It almost makes me nervous in a way, as if these "leaders" are just red herrings to make me drop my guard. Perhaps there is a much more nightmarish opponent awaiting me in the next gym. Perhaps...

Ah, but this is no time for paranoia. I just remembered I never actually visited Ilex Forest!

This old woman, like many of the locals, is dead-certain that a great spirit watches over the forest. I'd best be careful, she says, because the spirit's minions will tear me apart if I'm not.

Ahhh-ha. Ha ha. Oh wow. Some minion. I'm just going to walk away from this one.

Ralph calls me for the second time today, and about the same thing as last time. I'm beginning to think that he's mistaking one Qwilfish sighting as an outbreak every single time. And why me? Why not his fishing buddies? Ralph is an enigma.

A rather distressed-looking boy traps me in a clearing and begs that I catch something "far-fetched", though he never says exactly what far-fetched thing he means. I have a feeling I'll get some kind of freebie out of the deal, so I might as well help out.

Hm. This leek-wielding duck seems like a promising target. A rather stupid one, at that. I have to keep poking it along with a stick in a circle until finally I have it poked back in the direction of the boy.

The boy is now oddly quiet, and does not make eye contact with me. A man whom I assume is his overseer gives him a sharp look, and then thanks me with an instructional disc similar to the one I got from the monk at Sprout Tower. I load it up and let Garrison watch, and he stares at it blankly. Nothing happens for a while, and I begin to worry that Garrison is far too advanced for such a primitive technique.

But, suddenly, he stands up and walks over to an impassable sapling. With a single thrust of the leaf on his head, the small tree is cut in two.

This is a power reminiscent of the gods.

The rest of the forest is remarkably straightforward. I do find one other human in here, but it's apparent that's he's somewhat... off.

I wish I could answer you, sir.

And thus, I reach the gate on the other side. This woman in blue gives me a disposable disc which supposedly can be used to teach one of my Pokémon an attack that lures other Pokémon to us. I fail to see what use this will ever be. I'll just sell it.

A new route, and a large city looming on the horizon... Buildings that taunt me with their sheer tallness... They think they know the face of pain.

They have not met me yet.

NEXT TIME: Frez does a bunch of pointless things and it's pretty much just filler! Hold your horses!