Well, well, well

---

I have returned to the well after destroying several wild Pokémon to give Flagrant and Flitwick a taste for blood.

Oh hey, I recognize you! You were the oddball who didn't want anyone falling down the well. Good job preventing that happening to Kurt. Oh, wait.

Apparently my pointing this out to him does not fly. Upon closer inspection, I notice that there is a large "R" embroidered on the front of his uniform. What could this mean? Rad? Resplendent? Respectisquad?

Ah. Rocket. So you guys are the ones that have been causing all this mess. I must hand to you; you lot were about the last people I'd expect.

Their primary weapon of choice is Zubats. Flitwick has, fortunately, lost all of the species sympathy it once had. It is a bloodthirsty murder machine with no remorse and no pity.

It does not take us long to dispatch each Rocket. They are insufferably weak, and I once again question the structure of this universe I'm in where the weak are allowed to become higher-ups.

Especially those who commit such heinous crimes... These dear, intelligent creatures should not have had to suffer this fate. Their blank eyes show me all of the pain they hide deep in their hearts. I will avenge you, Slowpokes.

The last Rocket I encounter is disturbingly smug after having seen me wipe out his cohorts one by one. He claims that nothing I can do will make a difference - they've all gotten their stock of tails and I'm basically just crashing the afterparty.

He is not spared. Even with Flagrant shrinking down into a sort of tiny starfish, we are undefeatable.

Kurt finally hobbles his way over only to congratulate me and then escort me out of the cave. I am wary of that oddly square boulder, but I guess that will have to wait for now.

D'aww, the Slowpokes have returned to the town. They are charismatic beyond words.

Before I head into the gym, I decide I might as well take a peek at what this whole "spooky forest of death" thing is about.

But I can't. I'm sure you already know why.

I swear, Knabbs, you're at every turn. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were stalking me~

He of course challenges me to a battle.

Pshaw. We can handle this, right guys?

...Hm.

A change of strategy may be in order.

And so we defeat him with our hallucinogenic awesomeness.

Knabbs, you silly person. You can speak of how much you hate the weak all you want, but you must remember that I'm in that boat with you.

A tiny boat in the middle of a shark-infested lake. Just the two of us. You want to jump out of the boat, I can tell.

You can't jump out of the boat, Knabbs.

And he leaves me once again.

I make my way to the gym, bringing our psychedelic funk with me. They don't stand a chance.

NEXT TIME: A gym and a foresty thing! Bazinga!

[Note from irl Frez: Huh. Looks like I never got around to making a picture for this one. OH WELL. I'll do it later. Maybe.]

This is the best day ever

Well, we're back to the old Dream Team after boxing that egg-borne atrocity.

I make my way down into the well, where I find Kurt lying on the ground and looking like he's probably seen better days.

He mentions "Team Rocket" again, and how they've supposedly set up their operations in this very well. For some reason, he thinks I'm going to defeat them all by myself at his command. Not that I couldn't, of course, but for me to take orders from this guy? Fat chance.

I decide to go ahead and do it anyway, with further training as my excuse.

The well is chock-full of Zubats. Here a Zubat, there a Zubat, everywhere a-

...Well now that's odd. Every other one before this has been blue. And why is it glowing? It must be radioactive...

Cairo doesn't know what its deal is either.

But, this must be a particularly rare specimen, and would make a lovely trophy for the team. And if it really is radioactive, it logically follows that it would have superpowers! I must have it!

Such strength, to break free of a Great Ball... The label on it even said, "Catches Pokémon more reliably than an ordinary PokéBall. It's 'great!'" Cairo himself was captured in just a single PokéBall.

I have underestimated this bat.

But after several more balls thrown and many minutes of heart-pounding anticipation, it finally lays still, as a trophy I have so rightfully earned.

To think, this is a PokéDex entry that most likely would have never been made otherwise.

The world is ours for the taking.

After roaming around the grass outside the well for a while to train Flitwick up a bit, I get a call on my PokéGear from some guy named Ralph. Who he is or how he got my number are both mysteries to me, but he seems really excited about an outbreak of "quill fish". I decide to trek back to the area before Union Cave, since I have little better to do.

Ah. This what he meant.

I must have it.

Hooray!~

I don her "Flagrant". I've added two more team members in such a short time, but I suppose Garrison and Cairo won't mind stepping out of the limelight for a while.

[Note from real-life Frez: Whoa. A freaking shiny. I never find these, at least not outside of chaining, and especially never so early in a game. This is the third legitimate shiny I've ever found in a Gen 2 game, ever. I've been playing them since they were brand new.

I know this post was short, but I can't exactly say this was my original plan. I added the Qwilfish capture to beef it up a smidge.

Oh and the nickname is courtesy of Richie.]

A new town or something

My egg is making sounds, and must be on the brink of hatching! I can hardly wait for the soul-eating beast of destruction that is sure to emerge from it.

Whoa. This cave is exponentially larger than it appears from the outside. Is there space-compression technology at work here? If a Pokémon can be mashed into a tiny ball, I suppose the inside of a cave can be mashed into a tiny façade.

Most of the creatures in here are standard. Blind bats and even more living rocks. There is one of note, which looks like a brick-patterned hamster.

I have not seen any more Dunsparce. They probably don't inhabit this particular cave. Or, Cairo really is the great mythical deity I suspected he is.

Curses! My attempts to grab an item and simultaneously avoid notice failed!

He corners me. I cannot tell if his grin is actually happy, or maniacal. He smells of cheese and beer. He sends out his Pokémon with a loud grunt, forgoing words, which are probably unnecessary to him.

It appears to be a craggy gray snake that just ate quite a few boulders. Or, it is boulders. Thankfully, it is taken care of with a single attack.

We trudge on through the cave, encountering many a Zubat, but very few people. At one point, my hopes pick up as I see a glow in the distance -

But it turns out to be yet another fat man.

Cairo mirrors my exacts feelings for this man. How dare he give me false promises of an exit to this place. He does not go unpunished.

Neither does this boy in a purple trenchcoat. I do so admire his sense of style, really.

Even his Pokémon is pretty hip. I recognize its bold, calculating stare as the same look Garrison often gives me. Any creature that can rival Garrison's intelligence has my utmost respect.

This one belonging to another firebreather, however, looks downright deplorable. At least this time we actually are close to the exit. I extend him a slight bit of mercy, and leave his fox-creature mostly recognizable.

Ah. Sweet, sweet daylight.

I make my way west, and I can see a small village in the distance. As I get closer to it, I come upon a well with a man dressed in black in front of it. He's awfully greasy-looking, so I try my best to avoid him.

He shouts at me as I pass, saying things like "I'm guarding this here well, yes sir! You wouldn't want to fall down it now, eh? Ow-ow-ow!"

I just keep moving. He may be mentally unstable.

I reach the village, which has a much nicer atmosphere to it than Violet City.

There's another man dressed in the same uniform as the one by the well, and with about the same capacity for making sense.

In a house at the north edge, I meet a man named Kurt who explains to me that some "Team Rocket" is cutting tails off of slowpokes. I'm guessing the slowpokes he's referring to are people like the uniformed men I saw earlier, but I'm not sure why he thinks any of them would have tails to begin with. He doesn't give me time to ask, though, as he rushes out the door whilst screaming about the well.

I decide it's worth my time to go back, if only to see how much of a fool he makes out of himself.

And it looks like the uniformed man is gone. Time to-

What? The egg; it's moving! Oh, the suspense! The nerve-wracking anticipation of what all-powerful monster shall emerge from its shell!

...Um.

What is that? No really, what is that?

Yeah, there is no way I'm keeping this thing.

[Boxed!]

NEXT TIME: Frez encounters a brand new enemy! Gee willikers!